I never thought Coen and I would be called back to ministry, so the moment God called us back, it came as such an exciting surprise to me. Unfortunately this was soon followed by an overwhelming feeling of being unqualified for the call. Insecure thoughts like ‘I can’t do this! I don’t know what to do! We are really unqualified as a couple’ kept going through my mind.
These thoughts were however answered by a small Voice inside of me saying ‘BUT I AM’.
It was the voice of God, His perspective on my life and the truth of my calling. It changed the way I felt about myself, and the way I looked at the situation.
So even though I still felt unqualified for what we had been called to do or in fact were already busy doing, I realized God was there every step of the way reminding me that it is not about me being qualified, or having my life perfectly in order and sorted out, or me being smart enough or actually knowing what I am doing, BUT it’s only possible because of HIM! Because HE called us to build HIS church – the Bride of Christ.
God reminded me of the story of Mary, Jesus’ mother. When God told Mary about her pregnancy, she asked a question to the angel: “How can this be? I am still a virgin!”
The angel answered with God’s reply: “The Spirit of Holiness will fall upon you and almighty God will spread His shadow of power over you in a cloud of glory! This is why the child born to you will be holy.” (Luke 1:35 TPT)
Mary was not qualified or even ready for this incredible destiny to be bestowed upon her, in fact she was still a virgin planning to marry Joseph. So even thinking that this was part of ‘her plan’ is very unlikely. But when the Angel came, she made a choice to trust God and accept the request to carry this baby, ultimately leading to history being changed forever and the world receiving the Savior. She made a choice to not choose and follow her own dreams, but to trust God and the dreams He had for her life.
There are similarities in the story of Queen Esther. When God called her to save the Jews, she had to take an enormous step of faith, even though what was asked of her felt impossible to do. She risked her life to speak to the King, but because of the favor she found in the King, she in return saved her nation.
The same applies for us today. When we have a dream that feels impossible or a calling that feels beyond our own abilities, God is already there backing us up as we take a step in faith. Finding His favor in the process. God is a gentle God, and will never force us to do anything, but He is so willing and able to pour His favor and love all over us when we take bold steps of faith.
I have now reached this beautiful place, where I know it’s not about me, my capabilities or my feelings regarding my potential, but it’s truly all about Him, working all things through me. So when I speak about Jesus, or pray for the sick, I know it is God in me who is able to do all things! I just have to take that step of faith – open my mouth to speak and physically lay on my hands, and He will back me up!
In the process I have grown in my love for people and in my ability to love on them. As my heart is sensitive for their burdens, I speak life over them. Sometimes it is as easy as giving people a sincere compliment, or encourage them when they go through a challenging season or situation. And even though I sometimes don’t ‘feel’ anything when I’m praying for people, I KNOW God is still moving. That’s the same for you!
“Your faith in Me has given you life. Now you may leave and walk in the ways of peace” – Luke 7:50.
Now I can celebrate in the revelation of knowing it’s not about my own abilities, qualifications or feelings, but ONLY because of Jesus, and who He is and His finished work on the cross. He has done it ALL, the completed work!
Thank you Jesus!
Favor Love and Peace,